Hey Sis, What's That In Your Handbag?

I am like most females-I love a good handbag!

So many good brands to choose from too like Coach, Fendi, Gucci, Prada…

There are even some ‘no-name’ brands that I love so much.

The truth is the brand matters less to me than the handbag size!

For me, the bigger the handbag, the better the handbag.

Why?

Because I get to pack from a pin to an anchor in it, plus all the other important stuff I don’t want to go without. Everything I need is always inside and always within easy reach.

I mean Everything!

I pack my prescriptions, my glasses, the book I have been promising to read or finish, my Bible, notes, receipts, garbage from last week. Notepads filled with things to do that never get done or only get done halfway. The sandwich that I never finished and that chocolate wrapper that’s evidence I went on a binge that gets placed at the bottom of the pile beneath everything else. Insights and revelation I received but forgot to act on. You get the picture. I pack everything in them hand bags including my money that no one can get near to.

You laugh but you know it’s true. Our handbags are extremely private places, just like our hearts are. We hide so much there!

As you can imagine, because I take my handbag everywhere I go, over time it became filled with all kind of junk, things I should have thrown away a long time ago but didn’t! Ok, it got filled with things I felt I couldn’t throw away.

So, soon my handbag became really heavy and really difficult to carry. It began to wear me down but I still wouldn’t throw anything out because I just might need it. As a matter of fact, when I change handbags I simply start a new mess or just throw the mess from the bag I carried previously into the new one, after all, I have so many important things that I have to keep with me.

Truthfully, as I look back, my handbag became a symbol of my heart filled with all the junk I didn’t want to throw away. All the hurts I held onto and carried around with me daily hidden inside the beautiful handmade bag swinging from my shoulder or firmly held in my hand.

But, as the new year approaches with its new possibilities, new struggles, new victories, new insights, new thoughts, new attitudes, new actions- I need to get rid of old attitudes, mindsets and the like. You know the saying-new wine for new wineskins (Mark 2:22) the old must be discarded to make room for the new.

How?

Let’s continue to imagine that my Handbag is my Heart…

I have on numerous occasions stuck my hand inside my handbag and instead of coming up with love, joy, patience, kindness-you catch my drift- I find numerous other 'things' that I just chucked back inside to deal with another day. But today is that day- as a New Year approaches it is time to sift through its contents and empty the trash.

As I rummage through seven heart issues I find include:

Letting go of hurt is quite hard. I hear all the time that forgiving is a process. It seems like a never-ending process in my mind!

The memories live on in my heart; often near to the bottom but every so often they get pulled up to the top and I relive the horror over and over. The thought of forgiving the wrong weighs heavily on my mind and forgiving becomes a wait and see game I play every 2 weeks or as often as I need to.

I resolve in my heart to let go and think that I did But then I notice the tightening of my chest, the eye roll, the downright annoyance and anger I feel at the mention of a certain name!

And the cycle would continue but not today! Today I will not get caught in that trap of reliving the hurt or get caught up in the blame game.

Instead, Today, I will cling to the truth and the principle laid out in scripture in Ephesians 4:31-32 which says, "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put way from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

It’s on occasions like this that I am forced to acknowledge that I am called to forgive simply because Jesus Christ forgave Me. That is the truth that should form the basis of my forgiving those who I need to forgive.

I forgive not because I feel like it, or because the pain and disappointment have lessened but I choose to forgive because I know I should and I am mature enough to just do it over and over and over again.

Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which one who may initially feel "victimized," undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding a given offense, and overcomes negative emotions such as resentment and vengeance (Wikipedia).

For me, 2023 is as good a time as any to forgive and forgive again like Jesus in Matthew 18:21- 22 encourage us to forgive 70 times 7-do the math!

It doesn’t matter whether or not I may still be smarting a little bit from my latest brush with rejection or if I have years of being rejected hidden deep in my heart that resurfaces when I least expect them to. Either way, there it is, looking up at me daring me to deny it!

Rejection is very painful no matter the cause!

Those rejected often always believe the rejector’s evaluation of them. I am no different. I walked around with my head bowed down and my heartbroken, feeling inferior and believing the evaluation even if I should know better. The feeling of being rejected rears its ugly head time and time again and I often get stuck in that place of feeling unwanted and discarded.

It doesn’t matter if I was rejected because of:

The end result was always the same and I would sometimes ask myself-

Is it true? Am I less valuable because of their evaluation of me?

I use to answer with a just above whisper no instead of a resounding NO to these baseless questions!

Come on now,

I use to believe all the time that I am unworthy, unloved and unaccepted-But I discovered a while back that that is the enemy of my soul talking and I am the first to admit he used to distract me with his lies.

Finding rejection in my heart is a stark reminder of how important it is to regularly examine my heart. I know that rejection shouldn’t stop me from getting to God’s best and seeing myself as God’s best in 2023, after all I am fearfully (skillfully) and wonderfully made. God made me on purpose and I have tremendous value (Psalm 139). I intend to live like it in 2023.

As I go through my handbag I find more junk that needs to be discarded.

Patience is a fruit of the Holy Spirit who lives in me so why do I find myself running low on this fruit so often?

Some versions of the Bible use the word longsuffering instead of patience but either way, finding patience in my heart is a struggle sometimes.

Everyone is moving too slowly for me-please get the job done now. Thanks.

Speak quickly-I am waiting to hear the answer, the one I am expecting and waiting for.

Why are you speaking so slowly? You are wasting so much time with irrelevant information. I don’t need to hear all that!

According to Google, patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.

I am guilty-lack of patience fills my heart. It is a fruit that I desperately need to bear more of.

What's more, the Bible says, Love is patient and is kind (1 Cor. 13:1). I want to be Love in 2023.

So, yes, I am working on Slowing down. I will Stop and really Listen in 2023.

I heard a definition of kindness once, it goes something like this, Kindness is the act of being nice to someone even after he or she has annoyed you.

Ouch.

I have failed to live up to this definition many many times, too many to count.

Here's 1- the Cashier who seems to be on Go Slow on the day I am in a hurry she takes forever to cash the few items in front of her -by the time I get to her and her cheerful greeting I just grunt hello or may pretend not to hear.

Oh yeah.

Through the many failures, I have learnt that the more I allow the Holy Spirit to lead me in how I interact with others the more I see a positive change in how I respond and feel even when I think the situation is less than ideal.

Truth is, I have seen where a kind word, a smile, a helping hand have worked wonders.

Proverbs 16:23-24 says, “From a wise mind comes wise speech; the words of the wise are persuasive. Kind words are like honey-sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”

Here’s more wisdom from the Scriptures:

Proverbs 11:17 says, "A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself."

The Holy Spirit always convicts us when we have been unkind and we often get an opportunity to rectify the wrong. I always feel better after being kind vs being mean.

When I am annoyed, angry or upset being mean is soooo much easier than being kind.

Thankfully Holy Spirit is here to help me to bear this fruit more fully. And guess what? Being kind despite how grumpy I feel is a sign of maturity!

This is a great goal to set for 2023. This is definitely on my To-Do List.

This is a big one-just like all the others :).

Ok, ok, I know holding on to anger leads me to sin but I get angry anyway and I hold on to it anyway.

I need wise counsel from Scripture: Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NKJV) says, "Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, For anger rests in the bosom of fools."

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

Furthermore, Proverbs 16:32 (NKJV) says "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city."

So, here's one more goal for 2023-replace bouts of anger with self-control!

My fears come in all kinds of shape and form-fear of the future, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of being hurt, fear of being criticized and judged, even fear of success lurks inside. Fears, fears, fears fill my heart.

The Bible says in Titus 4:7 that God has not given us fear, but so many of us, including me, walk around filled with it. My heart gets full to overflowing with the fears that lurk inside. Fear immobilizes and manipulates me far too regularly.

I acknowledge that fear needs to be broken!

The greatest antidote to fear is to grab ahold of the Spirit of the love of God, God’s power and the sound mind that God gave me so that I can live a life devoid of fear that so easily besets me.

So, now is a good time to remind me that I always feel afraid when I take my eyes off God and look instead at my abilities.

I am challenged by the Word as written in 1 John 4:8 (CEV) A real love for others will chase those worries away. The thought of being punished is what makes us afraid. It shows we have not really learned to love.

Ok, so one more goal to pursue in 2023-turning my fears over to God the one who loves me as I learn to love Him more and more.

According to the KJV Dictionary Definition pride "is inordinate self-esteem; an unreasonable conceit of one's own superiority in talents, beauty, wealth, accomplishments, rank or elevation in office, which manifests itself in lofty airs, distance, reserve, and often in contempt of others."

Sounds bad, right?

Even so, pride really is that sense of entitlement and a disposition to act superior. It is also the tendency to hide my flaws while highlighting the flaws of others. Pride is a self-inflated opinion of my own importance a view either secretly held in my mind or openly seen in my conduct.

Pride says it is all about me-there is no place for God.

Pride is simply Self on steroids.

So many times I pretend to be confident, strong, and bold when deep in my heart I feel weak and afraid but no one would know. Pride is about being self-reliant and not looking bad no matter what! I can do that with my eyes closed. But it gets tiresome and is so unnecessary.

Here what Proverbs 11:2 says, "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."

The cry of my heart is, give me humility every single day of the week.

So here’s another goal for 2023-ditch pride and pursue humility instead.

Ladies, as you can see so much junk got lost in my heart and tripped me up daily. Truthfully, these are only some of the junk that is hidden out of sight from the gaze of others. You may be like me and find that you need to work on the following areas come 2023:

1. Forgiveness- to forgive 70 x7

2. Rejection- to live knowing our value

3. Patience- to stop, slow down and really listen

4. Kindness- to live kinder

5. Anger- to replace anger with self-control

6. Fear- to turn our fears over to God

7. Pride- to ditch pride and live in humility

Ladies, the things we carry around in our hearts are holding us back from God’s best. They rob us of the peace that can guard our hearts and our minds.

What is your heart filled with:

Whatever they may be know that the issues of your heart are keeping you from really moving forward in your God-given purpose.

Don't you think it is time to achieve mastery over them once and for all?

Just as I unpacked my heart and laid the contents of my handbag bare just so I could start getting rid of the junk that I carried for so long-it is your turn.

Get rid of the old as you make room for the new. New wine needs new wineskin because the old wineskin cannot hold the new. It is time to make room for the promise.

So, what about you?

Sis, What’s In Your Handbag?

A New year-a new chapter, new verse, or just the same old story? Ultimately we write it. The choice is ours.” – Alex Morritt